Sting Of Tears

by Kai

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This is a testament to my own personal "successes and failures" to live up to the call of intercessory love. It testifies of broken and restored intimacy with God. It portrays a reconciliation of imaginary insecurities that were conjured up by superficial societal standards. Above all, it is a witness to the goodness and the severity of Jesus Christ.


released May 27, 2014

John Schwab Recording Studio (Adam Silas Miller), Crazy Daisy Productions (Erik Veach), The Remix Live Studio, Taelor Gray, Jamaica Weston,



all rights reserved


Kai Columbus, Ohio

I rap. I take photo's. I love Jesus. I hope we're alike. At least on the loving Jesus part.

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Track Name: Control Issues
Verse 1- Kai

I promise... Sting Of Tears is now under induction/ I'm with the Lord... all of my fears are still under discussion/ Erasing them in every session that I rhyme / Song by song... He's doing it in record time.../ feelings of inadequacy plus artistic inaccuracy/ had me like: forget the masterpiece, I'm just seeking the Master's peace/ in clear measure... / cause Christian rappers with yacht money, brings an entirely new definition of pier-pressure/ im serving notice to every surfaced motive, emotion, and ocean/ of despair. I'll spare no prayer till every care is focused/ I'm adding to my lesson learned list.../ as I cremate any pride that would lead me to now believe that I've earned this/ burned the bridge, to apathy/ I'm driving this vehicle for change/ kerosene in my backseat/ side mirrors reflect the flames/ steering clear of these ash heaps/ I need help over this course terrain/ I'm scourged and drained... I've lost so much control, Lord restore my aim...

Yeah... I cant help but feel like I keep losing control... (control repeats until next segment)

Verse 2- Kai

1:37 - You're... French kissing with a Cobra... / the equivalent? Christians in the car yelling "Hova" / Nas' "It was written" vs Jesus' "It is written..."/ you've been dancing with the devil, and developed quite a rhythm/ Is this the verse they'll grow bitter on? / Jesus said be wise as serpents, not worship the ground that they slither on/ my sense is on; I feel like we've been baited/ What's worse is satan's dancing to the music we've created/ allegedly unto the glory of the Creator/ but is it for His glory or the front cover of Fader? / our motives are where we waver/ I'm self-disclosing my prayers/ it's hard... / when the people you once idolized, you truly do admire from afar/ and you can't deny their gift ... / but if we're talking change, I'll reallocate my Roosevelts, paradigm shift/yeah... The wrong motivations can ruin us/ That dawned on my mind just in time to ruin dusk.../ It's real...


Verse 3- Kai

I'm just painting a portrait of how the family looks.../ Placing detours in every lane the family took/ I'm interceding for generations that can be shook / to the point satan won't shepherd our children with Sandy-hooks/ evil's become so elementary.../ how? I couldn't tell you how much the answer's killing me.../ We see the Lord as just a means to an end.../ with the gospel simply being a means to a Benz,/ no... ammunition, I ain't speaking from the holster/ I'm speaking to the ones who think all the preachers are vultures/ speaking to those who worship to the sounds of Jesus Culture/ the same ones who go home and bootleg Jesus Culture/ we're all diamonds in the rough with different clarities/ minus the costume jewelry of the Pharisees/ but if we look at our hearts through genuine love/we'll all find some Pharisee tendencies to repent of... it's real...
Track Name: Lifeline (ft. Jamaica Weston)
Intro- Kai

Hook- Jamaica Weston:

All I need is a lifeline, all I need is a lifeline...
And I'm calling you, I'm calling you... x2

Verse 1- Kai
Can you relate... to my portrayal of betrayal?/ The trail of broken hearts, broken starts, and broken halos?/The same foe of fear did surround me/ then misery appeared with black years to crown me/ she whispered in my ear: "you'll never steer without me"/then I replied: "No... you can drown in tears without me." / -and then Jesus reassures I'm not missing/ in-fin-ite life, I wouldn't be caught dead not living/ given the price; -the Rose of sharon is my preferred floral.../ He keeps me... when laurels dash to deter my morals/ I'm burning tapestries of agony's demise/ all the apathy that atrophies is actually prescribed/ make it plain: Jesus trained me as a pilot of the skies/ but even when I lacked a license, He had still given me drive/ so now I drive over leaves left over that a season left colder than the breeze on death's shoulder... I resurrect...


Verse 2- Kai

Can you relate to my rage against the machine? / May I author unto the Lord; every page eclipses the screams/ of jaded nations of teens that have no elation to breathe/ they see no escape to just be, and don't pray for what they believe/ to be freedom... If you blink you just might miss it/ "it" being sex slaves in places you'll never visit/ visibility... seems to correlate to our ability/ to care for what doesn't bother you, but is constantly killing she/ has no say over her own body/ she tries to escape in her mind, but satan's chasing behind/ so when she envisions a home with a husband and healthy baby/ her faith in it coming to pass won't even stir up a "maybe"/ it's tragic, she's only 18 and nightmares cause her to hate dreams/ but one day she'll be free lead other women to safety/ she'll marry, have kids of her own, and insist on adopting a baby/ skip Christmas shopping at Macy's/ to petition stoppage of rapings/ that's parallel to the hell that she fell hostage to facing


Verse 3- Kai

Can you relate? To what now represent my aim?/ My obsession with the residence of heaven will explain/ with no negligence or hesitant expressions of the same/ second guessing isn't present when His presence is ingrained/ in the essence of the blessed learning lessons in His name/ Jesus' weapons ceased the pestilence envelopin' the saints/ plus His message cut the stress that kept my excellence in chains/ Bless His name, which I represent and sketch deflecting fame/ though I'm wretched, I'm still stretching for the perfection he sustained/ His resurrection out of death is the only method to obtain/ so both testaments show evidence expressive of this claim/ so keep praying... cause confession of transgressions rids of stains/ Jesus, He makes intercession and concession for the saints, while correcting our perspective and acceptance of what taints/ our perception of progression; rejection isn't what I'm dressed in/ nor necklaces of oppression, I'm pressing into a better chain...

Track Name: Regular Person (ft. Taelor Gray)
Verse 1-Kai

Yo, who taught me skinniness wasn’t attractive? / Who taught me contacts would do me more justice than glasses? / Who told me to get up on the latest fashions? / Who told me the tone of my voice was too static for rapping?/Who discouraged introversion; said I should be a talker/ but then said I “talk white” because I often talk proper?/ -ly, Who told me I was worthless? / Who told me when I marry, that my sex life will suffer since I chose to stay a virgin? / Who taught me not to like my personality? / Who taught me to measure my manhood with my salary? / Who taught me to choose the path in life that doesn’t challenge me? / Who told me chivalry is nothing more than a formality? / Who told me at the end of it all, I’ll end up alone? / Who told me that I’ll never have a family of my own? / Who told me lost friendships can never be retrieved? / Who told me that love was just too elusive to achieve?/ Just believe you’re a …


Regular Person… (they define what’s a) Regular Person… (then tell me I’m a) Regular Person… La, La, La, Laaaa…

(they label me a) Regular person… (I thought I was a) Regular Person… (nothing more than a) Regular Person… La, La, La, Laaaa…

Verse 2- Kai

Who told you your complexion was less than?/ Who said that you were ugly? Who said that dark skin wasn’t lovely? / Who said you should sell your body for money? / Who violated your temple after they said “trust me” ? / Who said it’s impossible to forgive?/ Who told you hedonism is the reason we should live?/ Who told you “you’d be better off dead”? / Who told you not to believe those words written in red? / Who said when you’re angry, it’s ok to hit your wife? / Who told you - an unborn child isn’t a life? / Who told you that throughout life… you’ll always be financially unstable? / Who taught you to appreciate an item by its label? / Who told you that you’re stupid? / Who told you that you’d never be an A and B student? / Who told you the world couldn’t be ruthless?/ Who encouraged us to grow up to be shooters?/ I’m asking to identify who’s applying the nooses…


Verse 3: Taelor Gray

Answer me please- who told you you were naked?
Who sets the divides between secular and sacred?
Whose perspective is sacred- separate from the thoughts and intents of humankind
With intensive true design
And an infinite view of time
Who picks apart atheists
Then pricks the heart of an atheist
And sparks perfect praise from his trachea
Who has known you from inside the womb
Then sizes the womb for growth and development...
all while managing the elements
A Love hyperbole
Balancing his actions, so heard nonverbally
Mercy for offenses
Merciful extension despite our selfish dreams
Who else trumps self esteem with His self esteem
Gaining all glory- with a dying selfless deed
Seems quite irregular, so lead with a capital
And call it supernatural- the God Man.

Track Name: Fiction's Lie
Verse 1- Kai

It's beautiful... wouldn't you say? / which leaves me all the more confused on why wouldn't you stay/ Love songs I wrote, but never recorded... never could play/ whenever I'd pray/ for us, the Lord would say enough... is enough/ Trust/ I say this all for your sake, cause your saved, and she's not/ and the soul tie that you wanna make, you don't wanna make ... that's a deep knot/ you thought she loved you; think not/ she doesn't even know who love is/ it's ain't wise to wait for the blizzard to see if the gloves fit/ death is everything lust gives/ your body is a temple, not a utensil/ so, that's, where, the possibility of "us" ends/ it wasn't my intention... to up and cut off our friendship/ but listen you need an encounter with God far more than you need my attention/ tension... is in the room whenever we're in it/ it's in-fatuation... and we both need maturation/ I can see we lack the patience... so God makes the provision for vision... /so with these contacts, i gently place the lenses...

Hook: In fiction's eyes... it's fiction's lie... x2

Verse 2- Kai

Pride will tempt us regardless.../ to finish what we started... even if it was with a harlot/ that's a symptom of fake love... / she said she had a heart of gold/ I said "that's what idols are often made of"/ see sin can have a snowball affect.../ and I took a lot of notes on the avalanche on Adam's hands/ snowballs of regret/ and my flaws are no lesser.../ hindsight is 20/20, prophetic sight's even better/ but our own will is our treasure/and there begins the reprimand.../ I'm staring at the hour glass aware of every speck of sand/ time is running out... and so now... it's no wonder that, the Army of salvation is obsessed with the second hand/ as we proceed to act like we're not in need of a second chance/ in fact, the eyes of Christ show mercy if you would accept the glance/ but the
plan-tation of your plans left you and fiction to dance.../ and you want me to cut-in, but I'm insisting that I can't... I can't...
Track Name: Heal
Intro- Kai

The healing of my soul is Your presence.
The healing of my soul is Your presence.
The healing of my soul is Your presence.


Verse 1-Kai

My scars will not define my inner...
maie... and if they try? Return to sender...
The heart of Jesus in the darkest winters,
that's my focus as I motion through these open scriptures.
The pictures feel surreal.
The memories can teach us how to hide, but not heal.
I kneel to pray to Christ that He would shine on what's concealed.
And the filament that I feel within is peace that He will seal.
Beauty for ashes, rubies and sashes...
the cleansing blood of Jesus in a chalice...
Drink over the darkness.


Verse 2- Kai

This one's for every lost soul that felt afflicted...
that felt convicted... but felt defenseless...
from failed defenses; only Christ prevails as sinless,
who rushes to heal the wound... even when it's self-inflicted.
How do I know? My life is the sign that I show,
with an open curtain...
My hope is certain, this flow is service to show His purpose,
Word, the balm of the age...
The calm in the rage of grief... greets the hurt,
the hearse is burned.
Without any corpse, of course your course
is simply to let Love let your scars heal...

Track Name: Free
Verse 1 - Kai

I hope you're right... cause I don't know if it's just the thrill of the chase/ or am I dealing with fate? / cause I'm concealing so much, I'm feeling so much/ -the flood of- un-certainty... is now spilling over/ and judging by these Russell crowes flying over head... I'm starting to think I was only pretending to know her (Noah)/ - The sheep of the Lord know His voice, so why am I so convinced by the rhetoric of the cobra/ I jettison... as I'm vexed again, perplexed again, embedded in such a malicious regimen/ but I can see the damage, so I retreat to let her mend/ as I open the canvas to entreat the letters from the pen/ my goal isn't to "manage"... but instead to sever sin/ I hear the knock of panic, but I refuse to let her in/ I may not understand it if this is a fight I never win/ but I can still withstand it as long as Jesus will measure in... Grace, as...


Verse 2 - Kai

Sometimes I thought you simply just didn't cherish me/ ...that was temporarily scaring me so far to the point of solidarity/ cause something like this... what we have is a rarity/ and now I merrily think of the idea of marrying/ but then we'll have a moment of despair and disparaging remarks.../ and I start to question my own clarity/ I'm a man of God, that's what Truth will swear of me/ so to be bound by these emotions is quite embarassing/ but, the torment is a burden I won't be carrying.../ I'll, never be perfect, to whom am I comparing me? / there's fire in our eyes that burns of familiarity/ so tell me what'll happen if these moments bleed Kerosene? / I'm speaking with these dark angles aside/ on the moon, speaking from the heart's angle is Kai/ I've been praying that... all the hard angles subside/ but keep struggling, with this dark angle of pride.../

Verse 3- Kai

My heart's inclined to this aerial view/ but I'm looking up at love from a burial view/ as I die to myself, denying myself/ I look into her eyes as I confide in my help... above/ the vision's in sight... the blood/ transforms sins from crimson to wedding dress white/ mission accomplished, the precipice to this mission's accomplice/ no exodus to any exit exists/ please... give me space to plead/ my case, cause she knows I'd give her the shirt off my back... while I'm aware of the fact... I wear my heart on my sleeve/ love brings no cuff links/ this isn't cuffing season, this is covenant season/ the reason? Jesus is speaking to me to be pure in motives and in the moment/ in Jesus image I'm molded/ that's what I hope in as these mirrors expose sin... I see...
Track Name: Please Forget
Verse 1- Kai

A desperate little girl attacked/I've been around the world and back/ in my own thoughts... at a very bold cost/ Daydreams, nightmares, both kin to reality/ there's horror in their aura as they blindly walk the balance beam/ you're still thinking we're innocent like Lincoln, that is... until that bullet whizzes by you in the balcony/ What's the precedence of a preserved President/ I'm trying to alter history.../ please hear me by the Spirit, what we're discussing is sacrifice; I'm trying to altar history/ via Christ's ministry, little girl He can - and - will altar your misery/ it indeed loves company, and my dear, you're headed for bankruptcy/ but mercy says "You can't touch me." / The blood of Christ speaks a better word.../ than every abuse you ever endured/ and every cry for help... you said, within yourself... that nobody but you... and Jesus Christ ever heard.../ His protection is clear in the fact that you're still here... Press on... Press on...


Don't remember... Lord, don't remember... our darkness isn't black, it's more scarlet... and with that, don't remember... please don't remember... on behalf of Your people.

Verse 2- Kai

Every rapist, every victim/ Every racist, every victim... has one thing in common... they all need a Savior/ please Save your hollow piousness/ cause Jesus prolly wouldn't clean dishes with your righteousness/ Alright then.-Apart from grace, our resume is zero/ whether you bought, sold or merely just rapped about the kilo/ it seems so... daunting that we, can identify with villain, victim, and hero/ guilty, guilty, guilty... From the wife enticed by fruit/ who's, married to a man whose tongue, once spoke the Truth/ That's unfortunately connected to the hands that held the noose/ that's connected to a body that fornicated in his youth/ (so)let's not see-saw in repentance, let's just cease all this pretending/ with sin, let's resolve to be finished/ we all fall short, every autumn is amended... but every heart can be mended/ His word is spoken plain, why can't you understand His speech?/ Love is in His palm, but you've preferred an underhanded reach... / There's still time... and hope...


7 In the day of my trouble I will call upon You,
For You will answer me.
8 Among the gods there is none like You, O Lord;
Nor are there any works like Your works.
9 All nations whom You have made
Shall come and worship before You, O Lord,
And shall glorify Your name.
10 For You are great, and do wondrous things;
You alone are God. -Psalm 86:7-10